Thursday, November 20, 2014


You, my boy, are not a sleeper. You can fight sleep to the death. Almost 10 months in and you are yet to sleep a longer stretch than 5 hours. The first 4 or so months you were ok. Two 5 hour stretches or 3x 4 was perfectly fine by me. I just went with it. Then we had a bad month, which has turned into a bad 5 months. Its like you physically cannot sleep longer than 2 hours without some sort of resettling - mainly breast feeding. Due to sheer exhaustion we are like a circus act in the wee hours of the morning. In your cot, in our bed, back in your cot, walking around the house rocking, back in our bed, attached to me in some way - either boob or your hands on my face while I hang off the side holding on for dear life. I feel like I've tried all the 'gentle' settling techniques there are but by now but letting you cry to sleep isn't for me (or you) so instead I chose to accept your sleep as it is.  I find it really difficult when people ask, "how is he sleeping?". I say terrible, and then enter into a long winded conversation about things I should try and things I'm doing wrong which in turn make me doubt everything I'm doing and I usually then go on a reading spree about how I can 'fix' you.. but it all comes back to letting you cry to sleep and thats not for me.. so we continue and drink lots of coffee!

And when you do sleep.. my god you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.. and I completely forget about the rest.

1 comment:

  1. It's tough but hang in there. I was there and came out the other side! Keep following those instincts xxx


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